In some ways, I’ve already dealt with this subject here, but a conversation I was a part of yesterday really got me thinking about this idea again.
A real man is content.
Contentment is such an elusive and powerful place to be. For me, it’s the difference between being happy and being frustrated. At the same time, it also marks that fine line between laziness and irrational ambition.
I struggle in a lot of different areas of my life. I say that with optimism knowing that it’s just part of the human condition to see areas in your life that you’d like to be better. However, there is nothing I struggle with that has more impact on the quality of my life than contentment.
My house is perfect for me… until I see someone’s that is just a little more perfect. My car gets me from point A to B just fine… until I see someone’s 2010 model with all the bells and whistles. I really enjoy my job… until I see someone else who seems further along in their career. I’m perfectly satisfied with my income… until I hear about some raise, promotion, or great financial success someone else has. My pizza dough is great…. until I taste someone else’s that’s just a little bit flakier. My grass looks green and well manicured… until I see the house that won yard of the month.
This is something that’s always been difficult for me. I’ve always been a “grass is greener on the other side” kind of guy. However, life experience has taught me that the grass is not always greener on the other side. I know this very well on a cerebral level, but somehow it always seems to get to me on an emotional level.
And yet, discontent is not always a bad thing. The grass may not always be greener on the other side, but sometimes it is.
When I’m around someone who’s more mature than I am, I become discontent with who I am and I’m motivated to become better. I like being around people who are more spiritual than I am because they motivate me to want to know God more. People who run regularly motivate me to be more disciplined. People who consistently wake up early motivate me to do the same. I always enjoy being around real men because they make me want to be a better man.
And that’s what makes contentment so difficult for me. How do you know when to be motivated to improve and when to happy with where you are?
I don’t know, but I imagine there are men our there who are perfectly content with who and where they are in life. These men know that no matter where they are or what they’re doing at the present, they are exactly where they’re supposed to be.
A real man knows there are areas in his life he can improve upon, but his motivation for improvement is not externally motivated.
If he’s striving, he’s striving to become the best man he can be. He’s striving to be more disciplined. He’s striving to be more courageous. He’s striving to be more spiritual. He’s striving to improve his relationships. He’s striving to be more generous. He’s striving to be more kind. He’s striving to be better at his craft.
Not only is that the kind of man I want to be, but it’s also the kind of man I want to be around and develop friendships with. After all, there are few things that have more influence over us in life than the people we choose to spend our time with. And given man’s natural inclination to compare himself to other men, I want to be surround myself with men who are not materialistic, who are not full of selfish-ambition, who are comfortable in their own skin, and for whom the perfect hue of green is the color of their own lawn.
I suspect that learning to be at peace and contentment with whatever we have and wherever we are in life probably is the secret to happiness. This is a daily battle for me and although it’s a battle I’ve been winning more and more lately, it’s still something I have to contend with on a regular basis.
